


A Broken Soul

by HorrorSkit



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Action, Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, One Shot, Other, Self-Sacrifice, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 19:17:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15870045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HorrorSkit/pseuds/HorrorSkit
Summary: Based off @revolocities AU where Adam joins team Voltron from the very begining of the series.Set during the "Fall of the Castle of Lions" Adam struggles with his place on the team and must determine if he even belongs. As he confronts Shiro about their past, the castle is attacked, and Adam must decide how much he is willing to sacrifice.





	A Broken Soul

**Author's Note:**

> This is without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever written. The dynamic between Shiro and Adam is complex that at one point I literally screamed because I didn't know how I wanted to write it. This may only be my second fanfiction, but I like to practice writing short stories on occasion to fain practice. But this is still my first time writing action and such deep and meaningful conversations. I wrote this because I absolutely love @revolocities and their Adashi/Shadam art. Please go check out their amazing work on twitter and tumblr. I love Adam as a concept because there is so much unused potential for his character. Originally I was just going to write an action scene, but I couldn't help but add these emotional conversations and layers to it! I do not support hate or fandom drama of any kind. I just want everyone to read this story and have fun with it. Please enjoy!
> 
> I do not own anything. AU Adam is a concept character thought up by @revolocities

“The download from the Galra ship was enough to at least get me in the right direction to start my search. I have a pod all ready to go,” Pidge said. She had pulled Shiro away from the banquet party with the Arusians they had met in the village near the castle. They moved out of the main hall into one of the hangars where she had also gathered Adam, Allura, Keith, and Hunk, all still dressed in their purple, white, red, and yellow armors respectively. Lance and Coran were busy entertaining the guests, and she figured that would be enough. She was busy telling them about the lead she had on her brother and father, and her plan to go after them.

“You can't leave,” Keith said, the irritation evident in his voice. 

Pidge turned to him, not appreciating his aggressive tone, “You can't tell me what to do!”

That just seemed to spurn Keith on more, “If you leave, we can't form Voltron. And that means we can't defend the universe against Zarkon. You're not the only one with a family. All these Arusians have families. Everyone in the universe has families.”

Adam eyed Keith curiously. It was a strange statement for Keith to make considering everything Adam knew about him. As far as he could tell, Keith didn’t have anyone except for Shiro. He never really let people get close to him.

Hunk chimed in awkwardly, “Yeah, I have a family. They live on Earth. I want to be with them. Is that, like, a thing that can happen?”

Allura spoke, clearly disheartened by the course this conversation was taking, “You want to leave, too?”

“Of course I do!” Hunk replied honestly, “Look, Voltron is super-cool, don't get me wrong, but I never signed up for a lifetime in space, fighting aliens.”

“Seconded,” Adam chimed in. It was true. His only intention had been to save Shiro. It was only by mere chance that his rescue attempt had coincided with Keith’s. Next thing he knew, Lance and the others were involved, and they were flying into space in the cockpit of a giant mechanical blue lion. Everything had happened so fast he really hadn’t had the time to adjust. After all, he hated space, and for a very legitimate reason.

“No one asked you to come Adam!” Keith shouted. His relationship with Adam had never been the best. Keith was always close to Shiro, but Adam never really felt like he could connect with him. In fact, Adam often pushed him away, so he couldn’t really blame Keith for having aggression towards him. In fact, it was pretty much warranted, “You gave up a long time ago. And now Pidge is putting the lives of two people over the lives of everyone else in the entire galaxy!”

“Keith, that's not how a team works” Shiro finally stepped in. Keith immediately backed down at his stern tone, “People have to want to be a part of it. They can't be forced,” Shiro turned to Pidge, switching to a more gentle approach, “If you want to leave, we won't try to stop you. But, please, just think about what you're doing.”

Pidge looked down, a little more somber than she was before, “I'm sorry. You're going to have to find someone else to pilot the Green Lion,” she walked off to the hangar bay where she had her shuttle, Hunk following after her. Keith walked back out into the hall with Allura, leaving Adam and Shiro alone.

Adam leaned against one of the columns, not looking at Shiro as he spoke, “That was an interesting perspective Takashi.”

“What is?” Shiro asked, turning to face him.

Adam looked up at him, his arms crossed across his chest, “Asking her to think about not leaving. Seems kind of hypocritical coming from you.”

Shiro sighed. This was a heavy conversation. One they really hadn’t had yet, but it was bound to come up sooner or later, “I know what you’re getting at Adam, and that’s not fair. I did think about it.”

Adam studied his face, taking a moment before he replied, “But you still went anyway.”

“I did. It’s what I wanted. It’s who I am,” Shiro told him. The choice Shiro had to make a year ago had been the catalyst that ended their relationship. Shiro wanted to travel out into space, despite the disease that threatened his health, and Adam couldn’t take it. He made it clear that if Shiro left, that they couldn’t be together anymore. But maybe that just spurned Shiro on even more.

“And I’m the villain for trying to make you stay?” Adam asked, voicing his thoughts.

Shiro looked up at him, genuinely shocked by the question, “I never said that. I never thought that,” Shiro declared adamantly. Adam seemed surprised. He had made the ultimatum because he was hoping it would make him stay. But it didn’t. Shiro went on the mission anyway, leaving him and their relationship behind. All this time, Adam couldn’t help but think that it was his fault. Forcing Shiro to choose between his relationship and his dream; he just assumed that Shiro would resent him for placing that burden on him. That if he had just supported Shiro instead, then maybe they could be happy together right now. Even if Shiro had stayed, they wouldn’t have been happy. Shiro would more than likely have grown resentful of Adam for making him stay when he didn’t want to. How could he not think that Shiro held animosity towards him?

“I was just trying to protect you,” Adam said, trying to defend his motivations. He had never wanted Shiro to leave. To go out into space where his life would be put at even higher risk, even with or without his disease. And that was something Adam couldn’t take, not again. To think Shiro could suffer the same fate as…. It was more than he could bear.

“I don’t need you to protect me Adam,” Shiro said, the irritation evident in his voice. It was exactly what he had said a year ago, and so many times before that. All Adam had ever wanted to do was look out for Shiro. But Shiro seemed to have some kind of innate desire to do more and more. Like he had something to prove. Like he had to show everyone he was more than his disease, and it broke Adam’s heart.

“Why won’t you let me?” Adam spoke, his voice almost cracking under the weight of all those memories, and the guilt that came with them.

Shiro saw the melancholy look on Adam’s face and turned his head away, unable to look at him, “Things are different now Adam. There’s so much more at stake here than my safety,” Shiro steeled himself, trying not to betray his feelings.

Adam moved forward and walked past him, stopping just behind Shiro to address him and spare him the pain of seeing Adam’s pained expression, “Do you regret it?.... Leaving?”

Shiro stood in place, feeling Adam’s presence next to him like a wave of heat, “I’m not sure. All the good that came out of it, I’m not sure it outweighs the bad…. The regrets.”

“Am I one of those regrets?” he asked, almost hopeful for what his answer would be.

Shiro turned, facing Adam, their faces only a small distance apart, “You gave me a choice Adam. I chose.”

Adam felt the weight of those words crash down on his heart, confirming everything he had already known since that day one year ago. He sighed, turning to walk away, “Yeah, you did. So, I guess in the end, that regret is my fault.”

He felt the cool metal of Shiro’s arm grab his hand, keeping him from leaving, “Adam I…”

“You don’t have to say anything Takashi,” Adam cut in, not willing to turn around or let Shiro finish a sentence that would break him even more, “I wasn’t fair to you back then. And maybe I was even selfish, making you choose like that.”

“But I know why you did….” Shiro tried to say. If anyone knew the motivations behind Adam’s actions, it was Shiro. He was the only person Adam felt like he could open up to in the Garrison. And right now, it felt like that had all been a mistake. He was going to be supportive and understanding, just like he always was. And that wasn’t something Adam couldn’t take right now.

He cut back in, not giving Shiro a chance to finish, “…but at the end of the day, I still wasn’t your choice,” he pulled his hand free from Shiro’s grip with ease, his fingers sliding out and his hand falling loosely to his side as he made his way towards the door once again.

“So, are you going to leave?” Shiro asked, afraid that he might lose one of the people closest to him all over again. He walked away from Adam a long time ago, but that didn’t mean he wanted to. In a way, Shiro felt like he had too. Shiro didn’t want to waste away, and he especially didn’t want Adam to have to care for him like he was some kind of burden. But that was the inevitable direction his life had been headed. Shiro couldn’t take that. He hated feeling weak, like he needed to be protected. He needed to feel alive. To do something with his life. Not feel like he was slowly waiting around to die while sitting at home. And if walking away meant that he could spare Adam the pain of seeing him waste away, then maybe it was worth it. But things had gotten so much more complicated since then. So was it Adam’s turn to walk away?

Adam kept walking as he answered, “I’m not going anywhere Takashi. I may not have signed up for this fight, but I have nowhere else to go,” he paused and rested his hand on the door before finally saying, “I’m sorry.” He pressed the panel next to the door to open it and left.

Shiro hung his head in shame as Adam left, speaking softly to himself, “Don’t be. I was selfish too…”

XXXXXXXXXX

As Adam left the room and walked back into the hall, the door sealing behind him, he heard a voice come from behind him, “That was surprising.”

Adam looked to see Keith leaning against the door frame. Adam felt a twinge of irritation, not appreciating that someone had decided to eavesdrop on such an intimate conversation, “You were listening to us?”

“Never thought I’d hear you admit to being wrong. Especially not to Shiro,” Keith spoke, ignoring the question and coming to stand in front of Adam. Keith wasn’t giving off much emotion like usual, but it was clear from his stance that he still wanted to confront Adam.

“Just leave me alone Keith,” Adam declared, walking away from him.

“What did you mean about not having anywhere to go?” Keith asked.

Adam stopped. Had he asked anything else, Adam would have just ignored it and kept walking. But he knew it was a loaded question. One that would that was more personal to Keith than anyone would ever realize. Adam sighed and turned to address Keith properly, crossing his arms as he did so, “Just what I said. I don’t have any family left to go back to, and I hated being at the Garrison. I have no reason to go back,” he admitted bluntly.

Keith seemed to be shocked by the revelation, not showing it on his face, but the reaction evident in his eyes. His stance became more relaxed, folding his arms as he asked his next question, “So why where you even there?”

“I enrolled in the Garrison for personal reasons. I guess you could say I was trying to atone for something. I hated it, but as luck would have it, I turned out to be really good at it. In fact, it was something I used to think you and I had in common.”

Keith wasn’t sure what to think. Given their history, it was hard to think he and Adam had anything in common. But Adam’s story did sound similar to his. Keith had no family either except for Shiro, who was more like a mentor to him than anything else. He was never really receptive to the Garrison authority either. After Shiro was declared dead, and Adam fell into a brief depression, he was no longer able to handle the strict rules and orders that were placed on him and ended up getting himself kicked out. “I suppose so,” Keith conceded. 

Adam watched as Keith’s body language became more reserved, as if he was ashamed to be having this conversation right now. If only Shiro were so easy to read. “What Takashi said about having to want to be part of a team, it’s not exactly true,” Keith looked up at him confused, “I never wanted to be in the Garrison, but I felt like it was something I had to do. I don’t want to be part of this ancient alien war, but I can’t just go back home either,” Adam turned his head to look back at the direction of the hangar door, “Pidge is lucky. Having family to look for. It’s better than what some of us still have.”

Keith couldn’t deny that. But the reason Adam was staying, it sounded so….empty, “So, you’re here because you’ve got nothing else better to do, is that it?” Keith asked, not entirely understanding what Adam was trying to convey.

“Not exactly,” Adam shrugged, “More or less, I’m here for Takashi. Even though we’re not together anymore, he’s all I really have left.”

Keith shifted in his place. Adam probably figured his feelings toward Shiro was something Keith could relate to easily. This kid really was bad at hiding his emotions, “He’s a different person now,” Keith spoke firmly, as if he was defending Shiro’s character somehow, “You don’t need to protect him.”

Adam smirked, hiding the all too familiar pain those words entailed, “Strange sentiment coming from someone who always tries save him.”

Keith didn’t appreciate how Adam was coming off as condescending, speaking up with more vigor than before, “I’m just looking out for the people I care about. He doesn’t…”

“I know,” Adam cut in, completely serious, “Believe me, I know. If I’m being honest… I’m envious.”

“Envious?” Keith asked, more confused than ever before. What could he possibly envy? Adam had always been the closest one to Shiro before the Kerberos mission. Was he jealous that Shiro was closer to Keith now that they had broken up? It wasn’t like Keith had romantic feelings for Shiro. He had always seen him as an older brother figure. Someone who had actually bothered to care about him. How could Adam possibly envy him when he had Shiro all to himself for so long before Keith even met Shiro? All the time they spent together, he no doubt knew more about Shiro than Keith ever would.

Adam laughed, but it wasn’t genuine, “We care about Takashi in different ways Keith, let’s just leave it at that.”

Before Adam moved to leave, Keith asked one final question, “Are you still in love with him?”

Adam froze, unsure of how to respond. It was true he still had strong feelings for Shiro, but did that count as love? Even if it did, would Shiro even be able to match those feelings? No, of course not. How could he? Everything between them was in the past. Shiro was a new person, and he had left Adam behind along with his previous life. Even if Shiro forgave him for making him choose, that didn’t mean there was hope to rekindle the fizzled flame of their romance. Shiro had decided to put his duty and mission above Adam, and it had been a whole year since then. No doubt Shiro’s feelings toward Adam would have lessened by then. So even if he had feelings for Shiro, “It doesn’t matter. I’ll be here for him, but he doesn’t need me to be. He’s got you, Voltron, and the rest of the team. In the end, I’m not that important to him.”

Adam walked away, the sentiment of his heartbreak hanging in the air.

XXXXXXXXX

Adam stood in the main control room of the castle, looking at all the stars and planets on the holographic projector.

“Mind if I join you?” Coran asked as he walked onto the deck.

“Oh, hey Coran,” Adam greeted politely, “Do you happen to know where Earth is?

“Let's take a look,” Coran said. He walked over to the control panel, bringing Earth to the center of the projection, “Earth is over here. And we're all... the way over...” he dragged on as he scrolled the map across the universe farther and farther away.

“You ever notice how far the planets are from each other, Coran?” Adam asked, feeling very contemplative after the emotionally heavy conversations he had.

“Yes. Haven't you been paying attention?” Coran said, taking Adam’s question a little too literally.

“Yeah, but I mean they're really far away. Like, say, Earth. It's so far, I can't even see it. The blue oceans, the white clouds, green grass... I... I can't see any of it.”

“You miss Earth. I understand. I miss Altea,” Coran said, understanding the somber and nostalgic feeling of a home that was suddenly taken away.

“That’s not what I’m trying to say,” Adam shook his head, “It just seems the further you are away from something, the harder it is to picture… or understand. You overlook all the tiny details and miss the things that have changed. All these planets, with so much space in between them. Can they ever really understand each other? How could they ever come to understand the changes that each one goes through over time if they’re not there to see it? Maybe they’re not meant to. Maybe they’re all just meant to be….alone.”

Coran seemed to get what Adam was trying to say with his less than vague planet metaphor, but he chose not to comment on it. It was obvious right away that Adam was a guarded person, hiding his real emotions behind a veil of aggression, humor, and sarcastic judgements. Most of which had been toward Shiro since the moment they arrived at the castle of lions. Coran didn’t want to interrupt whatever was going on with Adam when he was being this genuine for once.

“Well planets don’t have any consciousness to understand or contemplate with” Coran commented, choosing to go with a more passive right and act like he didn’t understand Adam’s metaphor, “Well, most of them don’t anyway.”

Adam sighed, “Yeah, I’ll take your word on that,” he turned around and made his way toward the main hall. He was tired of all these deep conversations, and just wanted to forget them, “I’m going to head back out to the party. Maybe the Arusians have some kind of liquor I can get drunk on.”

“Alright, just be sure not to drink the green stuff.” Coran warned as he started messing around with the panel controls.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Adam replied. As he made his way toward the door Pidge’s small floating Galra bot floated into the room past him, “Hey Rover,” he said casually. It was kinda funny how Pidge was able to make a literal friend out of an enemy’s tech. The thing pretty much never left her side for anything. Adam stopped as the realization hit him, “Wait… where’s Pidge?” He turned to see the small bot starting to glow red, charging to explode. It was headed straight toward the crystal at the center of the room, right next to where Coran was standing, “Coran look out!”

Adam ran forward, jumping on Coran to shield him from the blast as the bot exploded, the brunt of the force hitting Adam in the back and causing him to pass out.

XXXXXXXXX

The first thing Adam knew was pain. Pain all along his back and body. He could feel his body was pressed against someone’s back, like he was being carried, but he was still too delirious to open his eyes and see who it was.

“Hang on Adam. Help is on the way,” the voice said.

Keith? It sounded like him. And the person carrying him had a smaller frame, so it couldn’t be Hunk or Shiro. And there was no way Pidge could carry him. It could even be Lance, but Adam didn’t feel the voice matched.

“Damn,” he heard Keith say. Adam felt himself being let down, placed in a slouching position against the wall. Adam began to regain more of his faculties, the rush of pain in his back from being set down making him more alert. He opened his eyes to see a blurry figure walk away from him, toward a large shadow in the distance. If it wasn’t for the red paladin armor he wasn’t sure if he would be able to recognize Keith.

Adam pushed himself up a bit, adjusting his glasses and trying to focus on seeing what was happening. Luckily, his glasses had somehow managed to survive the blast fully intact. As his vision began to clear he looked back up, seeing Keith approach Sendak, an incredibly large Galra soldier with a floating claw arm where his left forearm no doubt used to be. Keith drew his bayard as Sendak continued to walk forward.

“Stand aside,” Sendak ordered, expecting Keith to bow down at his mere presence.

“No. You’re not getting in,” Keith declared.

“Yes I am,” Sendak increased his speed until he was charging at Keith. Sendak brought his large claw crashing down to where Keith stood. Keith dived forward under it, and then jumped as Sendak swiped his claw in a circle on the ground, trying to sweep Keith off his feet. Keith ran forward, bringing his blade swinging down, which was easily blocked by Sendak making a fist with his claw arm. Sendak took the opportunity to punch Keith in the gut, sending him reeling back.

Keith charged again, delivering a series of quick slashes and cuts, each one blocked by Sendak’s mechanical arm. Sparks shot off of it as Keith struck it with his sword. Keith rolled to the side when Sendak tried to get in a kick. For someone of his size, Sendak was incredibly agile. Keith stepped back to look for an opening, but Sendak merely reached out with his claw arm, extending it to close the distance between them and grabbing Keith by his arms, dragging him back towards him. He should have figured it could do that. After all, the arm wasn’t technically connected to anything physical. It just looked like a mass of energy holding the pieces together.

Sendak dropped Keith at his feet, lifting his arm up to smash him into the ground. Keith barely had enough time to roll backwards and dodge the hit. He was about ready to charge when something ran by him from behind. He turned his head to see Adam charging Sendak, his weapon in hand. Adam had been given an experimental bayard that Coran had been working on. It functioned in a similar manner to the paladins’ bayards, but it wasn’t nearly as resilient or as powerful. Mostly because it wasn’t made from the same material that was used to create Voltron and the other bayards. It could still transform though based on what the wielder’s fighting style was like. Adam’s had turned into a halberd, a large spear like weapon with an axe head on one side, and a hook on the other.

“Adam, stop! What are you doing!?” Keith called out to him, knowing he was in no condition to fight after being caught in an explosion. Adam just ignored him, both hands tight on his weapon.

Adam spun on his heels as he reached Sendak, adding force to his attack as he swung the bladed end at him. However, this attack was quickly caught by Sendak’s large mechanical arm, grabbing the staff and pulling it to throw Adam across the room. Sendak turned his attention back to Keith, apparently not interested in Adam’s efforts.

As Keith braced himself for another onslaught he heard Adam roar as he came charging up behind Sendak once again. Sendak turned seemingly amused by his stubbornness.

“You’re hurt, get back!” Keith cried out. There was no way Adam would have the focus to put up a good fight after just coming out of unconsciousness. Why was he doing this?

Adam thrusted his weapon forward, which Sendak deflected by smacking the front end away from him. Adam used the leverage to bring the back end of the staff up and smack Sendak in the face.

“I have to beat him!” Adam yelled in response to Keith’s plea. He spun back around, thrusting the spear forward once more towards Sendak’s chest, hoping to get in a killing strike while he was momentarily distracted by that first hit. Sendak was too fast though, slamming Adam’s weapon down toward the ground with his claw. Adam still pushed it forward between Sendak’s feet, turning it and pulling back to grab one of Sendak’s legs with the hook end of his halberd. It managed to trip him up slightly, causing him to stumble backwards. Adam stabbed his halberd into the ground, launching himself forward on it to deliver a powerful kick to Sendak’s chest.

Keith stood there watching in awe as Adam put up a valiant fight. Even after being severely weakened by taking a hit from an explosion, his fighting technique was well practiced and unyielding. Keith steeled himself, charging back into the fight. He couldn’t just let Adam face this guy alone. Especially not in the state he was in.

Adam swiped Sendak’s claw away with the butt of his staff, spinning around to bring the axe head crashing straight down towards Sendak’s skull, hoping to land a killing blow now that his mechanical arm wouldn’t be able to block it in time. Adam brought it down with as much force as he could, feeling his arms shake as Sendak reached up and grabbed it with his normal hand. Adam felt a wave of surprise and futility come over him. Sendak had literally been fighting him one-handed until now. He was so focused on that giant mechanical arm, Adam didn’t even think to consider Sendak wasn’t fighting at his full potential. 

He lifted Adam up off the ground by his halberd, hitting him in the side with his claw, and sending him flying right into Keith as they fell to the floor. Lying in a heap on the ground, Adam was beginning to realize just how screwed they were. They needed a new plan if they were going to survive this. As they struggled to get up, Adam saw a bright glow coming from the corner of his eye. He looked over and saw a beam of energy being charged up in Sendak’s claw right before it shot out towards both him and Keith. Adam grabbed Keith and pushed him back down to the ground and out of the way. As Keith’s back hit the floor, he saw a blast of energy hit Adam in the face. The blast leaving a scar mark starting at the bottom of his left jaw, coming up and ending at a point at the bridge of his nose. The blast also shattered the left lens of his glasses, a few of the shards ending up in his eye. He cried out in pain as he landed on his hands and knees.

“Adam!” Keith yelled out in concern, rushing over and trying to support him. Adam set his foot out and tried to stand up, grabbing his halberd that had fallen to the ground near them. As he tried to get up he fell back down, Keith catching him and cradling Adam in his arms as he turned him over to lay flat. Adam’s left eye was closed, a trail of blood running down from it. He gritted his teeth, trying to sit back up once again. Keith held him down, “Adam, why? Why won’t you stop? Aren’t you in pain?”

Adam looked up at Keith, his face twisted in pain. But it wasn’t just physical pain. It was grief and agony that decorated his features, “My brother…” Adam gasped out. Keith was speechless. He had never heard Adam say anything about having a brother. He was sure Shiro never mentioned it either. He held Adam’s head in his lap, Adam’s voice breaking as he continued on, “My brother knew so much more pain…than I ever will. And still I….. I couldn’t do anything for him. I can’t let Shiro lose his brother too….” Adam reached up and grabbed the hand that Keith had pressed against Adam’s chest, tears flowing from his good eye, and blood trickling down from the other, “I’m sorry…… I’m so sorry.”

Keith was frozen. Adam had never acted like this before. In a way, it scared him. Before Keith could even say anything, Sendak’s shadow loomed over them. He looked up to see the Galran towering over them, “Such a shame. You put up a valiant fight, almost like a Galra,” he said addressing Adam, “But to see you on the ground blubbering like a fool, you truly are as pitiful as the rest.”

Keith set Adam down, grabbing his bayard and charging up at Sendak, “Aggghhh!” Keith screamed in rage. Seeing Adam in that state broke something in Keith. Something he couldn’t quite grasp. And to see this monster mocking Adam at his weakest moment was something Keith just couldn’t take.

He thrusted his sword forward, which Sendak sidestepped with ease. Keith used his momentum to roll forward out of reach. He spun on his heels, swinging at Sendak’s head. His swing blocked by Sendak’s claw once again, grabbing hold of it and punching Keith in the gut, sending him tumbling back.

Adam pushed himself up to sit on his arm, “Keith no!” He called out. If Keith kept this up he was going to die. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Adam was supposed to save Keith, not the other way around. And now he was going to fail to protect someone again. Was this his fate? To always fail? To watch the people around him die, unable to do anything about it?

“Pathetic human!” he heard Sendak roar out as he slammed Keith to the ground. Keith rolled to the side as Sendak smashed his claws into the ground, narrowly missing his head. Keith swiped at his feet, but Sendak merely took a step back to dodge it, kicking Keith and sending him rolling away. It was obvious Keith was exhausted. Every strike he made was futile, and Sendak’s claw arm gave him tactical advantage at any distance over both Adam and Keith. 

Sendak walked over to Keith, his body limp on the ground as he reached out to grab his bayard. Sendak stepped on Keith’s hand, making him scream out in pain as he kicked his weapon away from him. Keith looked up to see Sendak drawing his claw arm back, about to deliver the killing blow. He closed his eyes and braced himself for the inevitable. 

As he waited for the pain that would come with the impact, he heard the clang of metal against metal, causing him to open his eyes and see what had prevented Sendak from killing him. As he looked up he saw Adam on his feet, his halberd blocking Sendak’s attack as the blade was stabbed into the ground for leverage. Blood was covering the left side of his face, his teeth gritted in pain as he exerted himself.

“Adam!” Keith called out in surprise. Keith may have been doing bad, but Adam was far worse off. The fact that Adam was even standing right now was nothing short of extraordinary. Sendak kicked Keith in the face, sending him tumbling away and knocking him out in the process, his focus now entirely on Adam.

“You’re quite stubborn for a weakling,” he sneered, seeming to find Adam’s efforts amusing.

Adam pulled his halberd free from the ground, reverting it back to its collapsed state in his fist. 

“I’ll show you weak!” Adam charged at Sendak. He couldn’t strike at him. None of his attacks were effective before, and they certainly wouldn’t be now. But he had to get him away from Keith. There was no way he was going to let anyone else get hurt. Sendak swung at him with his normal arm, and Adam dove forward underneath the strike. Sendak spun around and slashed at Adam with his claw. Adam jumped up, grabbing onto his claw and letting it carry him. At the apex of Sendak’s swing, Adam let go, letting the centrifugal force launch him backwards away from Sendak and Keith, landing on his hands and feet as he slid backward across the ground. 

Sendak charged after Adam, creating more distance between him and Keith. Perfect. Adam smiled, gripping his weapon tight. Adam jumped up as Sendak approached him, launching a punch at Sendak, his bayard in hand. Sendak sidestepped Adam’s attack, his bayard breaking as he struck the floor. Adam collapsed to the ground and rolled away as far as he could, the rest of his strength gone after that last jump.

Sendak looked at Adam lying helplessly on the ground, seeming to lose interest in him, “You can’t even hit me. Have your injuries left in such a feeble state already?”

Adam laughed, pushing himself up to look Sendak in the face, “I wasn’t trying to hit you,” he sneered.

Quickly understanding what was going on, Sendak looked down at his feet where the broken bayard had been left. It was glowing a bright orange color, seeming to grow larger every second. Coran had told Adam to make sure to never break his bayard. Unlike the others, his was just a prototype that could have devastating effects if broken. According to Coran, it would either explode, or it would create a stasis field for an indeterminate amount of time that could last anywhere from a few minutes until infinity. “What?!” Sendak yelled out in surprise. But before he could move the bayard exploded, creating a giant orange sphere that engulfed Sendak, pushing Adam further away with its force.

Adam looked up to see Sendak frozen within the orange sphere. He scoffed, “Damn, I was hoping it would blow up. Alright, plan B,” Adam forced himself to stand, pushing through the pain and staggering over to Keith. He grabbed Keith by the arm, slinging it over his shoulder and picking him up to stand with him, “Come on you moody asshole, get up.”

Keith stirred, starting to come to as he felt someone lifting him up to stand, “Adam?”

“We have to get out of here,” Adam said, guiding them toward the exit out of the castle, “I don’t know how long that stasis field is going to last.”

“Shiro and the others went to the village,” Keith told him. Adam nodded his head, a new goal set in his mind. It was a little far, especially given their current states, but they just might manage to get there before Sendak gets free. Slowly they both made their way across the bridge, each of them supporting one another as they walked. Every step sent waves of pain through their bodies as they struggled to get away. As they came near the edge of the bridge, they could see the others making their way back from the village. Shiro was at the head of the pack, with Allura and Lance close behind him. 

“Adam! Keith!” Shiro called out to them as he ran.

“Shiro!” Keith called back. Thank god. Having Shiro and the others meet them halfway would save a lot of time and energy, and possibly even their lives.

“Taka…” Adam started, but a loud whir made him stop. He looked back over his shoulder, seeing that Sendak had disappeared and the castle was powering back up. Shit! He was hoping that damn stasis would last a lot longer. Instead it just gave him access to the castle.

“Hurry! The particle barrier is closing!” Adam heard Allura yell. He looked up to see the orange dome shape of the barrier forming overhead, coming down to block the bridge in front of them and seal them in. Shiro and the others were still too far away, there was no way they were going to get in before the barrier sealed. At this rate they were going to be separated from the others permanently, leaving him and Keith at Sendak’s mercy.

“Come on! We can make it!” Keith urged, pulling Adam forward with him. The boundary line of the bridge they needed to cross was just a few feet ahead of them, but both of them together were too slow. There was no way they were both going to make it. Adam braced himself, grabbing Keith by the arm and torso, “What are you….!?” Keith started as Adam used the last of his strength to lift Keith up and throw him forward, allowing him to roll under the barrier just before it hit the ground and sealed Adam in. Adam collapsed to his knees in front it with nowhere else to go, and no energy to move.

“No!” Shiro yelled, coming up to the barrier.

Lance and Allura came up to Keith, lifting him up to check on him, “Keith! Are you alright?” Lance asked.

Shiro powered up his metal arm and punched at the barrier, sparks of purple and orange energy flying out with each strike. But it was useless. The barrier could take a blast from a giant robot enemy without breaking. Shiro wasn’t going to be able to punch a hole in it, no matter how hard he tried. He dropped to his knees in front of it to get to Adam’s level, “Damn it! Adam, just hang on. We’ll get you out!” he called out to him. 

“Takashi?” Adam asked. He seemed to be dazed after using the last of his strength. And the pain in his eye wasn’t helping him focus either. As he looked up and found Shiro’s panicked stricken face, he smiled up at him, proud of what he had accomplished by getting Keith out, “Takashi look. I saved your brot……” but his sentence was cut short as he felt the cold pierce of Sendak’s claw stab him from behind and come out the other side. His eyes went wide with shock and pain, the taste of metal on his tongue as blood sputtered out of his mouth. Unable to fully process what was happening, he fell back to the ground as the claw pulled back leaving a large open wound in his chest.

“ADAM!” He heard Shiro scream. It was a cry of pain and agony. A horrible sound he wished he had never heard. And yet, it was the last thing he would ever hear.

XXXXXXXXXX

Adam wasn’t sure where he was, or when he became aware of his body again. He didn’t seem to be anywhere. Adam felt like he was sinking, falling down an endless abyss. His body felt light, like he was surrounded by water, slowly drifting to the bottom of the ocean floor. Only there was no floor. Just a slow and continuous decline. Was this what being dead was like? An eternal fugue state of consciousness? Never being able to feel or experience anything ever again, but also having to be aware of it every second? Maybe it was fitting. Adam never really felt like he accomplished much of anything in his life. Nor did he amount to much to the people around him either. Maybe an eternal purgatory was the end that best suited him. Poetic was what came to his mind.

Adam couldn’t tell how long he had been falling. Hours? Days? Weeks? It was impossible to tell. Time no longer held any concept. It was endless. Suddenly, Adam thought he felt drops of water fall on his face, almost like rain. Was someone crying over his dead body? That didn’t seem right. Who would bother to cry over him? Shiro might be sad, but their connection ended a long time ago for him to be too broken up over his death. And he wasn’t nearly close enough to the others to make them cry. It was for the best probably. No one would miss him. He closed his eyes, ready to embrace oblivion.

“Adam?”

Adam opened his eyes again, the faint sound of a voice bringing him back to focus.

“Adam.”

It was faint, but he could definitely hear it. Without realizing it, Adam’s body had started to rise. He was no longer sinking into the dark abyss. Instead he was being pulled toward a miraculous voice that was calling out to him. He felt like he was being pulled back to a surface that he couldn’t see. The numbness that had taken over his body was being replaced by the dull ache of pain. Was this what if felt like? To be alive?

“Guys, give him space,” he heard the voice say. Was that Shiro? It sounded like it was coming from just in front of him, but he couldn’t see anything. 

“Wha…” Adam tried to speak.

“He’s waking up!”

Adam felt himself fall forward as everything went dark, strong arms embracing him as he stumbled. He slowly opened his eyes, the lights hurting them as they adjusted. His body felt heavy, slumped against whoever was holding him. He looked up to see Shiro’s face, his arms wrapped around him and holding him up. 

“I’m still alive?” Adam asked, unsure of whether or not he should believe in the angelic sight before him. Shiro lifted him up and sat him down on a nearby chair. The pain in his body a stark reminder that he indeed was alive.

“Yeah. You’re still alive,” Shiro answered. He stepped back, letting the others come into view. Allura, Coran, and all the other paladins were there. Even Pidge was there, which meant she had decided to stay after all.

“Sendak’s claw pierced your shoulder and you passed out. You lost a lot of blood. But you didn’t die,” Lance said.

“You’ve been recovering in the healing pod for several days now,” Allura informed him.

“Unfortunately, your arm was too damaged to fix. The strike to your shoulder severed pretty much everything important So your arm had to ugh… It had to be…ugh, removed,” Hunk told him awkwardly. Adam held up his left arm to look at it. He was wearing some kind of white spandex suit that covered most of his arm, but he could still see his hand. It was a dark grey color, with hints of orange lining running across the seams of his fingers. He was so delirious that he didn’t even realize that he had no feeling in his left side. His entire arm had been replaced up to the shoulder. He closed his grip, unsure of how to feel about his new prosthetic. 

“We managed to construct you a new arm and integrate it into your healing process,” Coran told him, apparently proud of himself. No doubt he was responsible for Adam’s brand new prosthetic. Adam felt strange. He could feel strange sensations that allowed him to move and control his arm like normal, in fact it didn’t even feel foreign. It was almost natural. But he had no sensation of touch with it. It was like someone had turned off that sense for his left arm specifically.

“I guess we match now,” Shiro smiled, holding up his right hand. Adam looked up perplexed. Was this how Shiro felt when he lost his arm? It was such an empty feeling, but at the same time it was comforting. 

“Well it doesn’t have all the capabilities Shiro’s arm does, but it has all the best qualities Altean science can offer,” Coran said, “We also used the leftover components from your broken bayard to construct it. After all you did break it after I specifically told you not to, and those parts aren’t exactly easy to come by. I figured we might as well get some use…”

“At any rate,” Allura chimed in, trying to direct the conversation to more positive news, “We also managed to save your eye. Your injury left it discolored, but you should still be able to see out of it like normal.”

Adam brought his hand up to feel his eye. That’s right, he had gotten shards from his glasses stuck in it. Adam didn’t even realize he was using both eyes to see when he woke up. It was another funny feeling. He didn’t think he’d even be able to see out of it again. But as far as he could tell his vision was normal. Still a little blurry though since he wasn’t wearing his glasses. It was a good thing he had a spare set in his room on the castle.

“What happened to Sendak?” he asked, remembering the monster that had almost blinded him and nearly killed him and Keith.

“Jettisoned into space,” Lance said casually, like it was a pleasant memory he could look back on whenever he wanted.

Keith came up to stand next to Shiro, “We’re all glad you’re okay now Adam,” he smiled at him. Adam didn’t know what to say. Keith rarely showed positive feelings towards him. Especially considering they never had that close of a relationship in the past. To see him express anything other than discontent or indifference, it was something he didn’t quite know how to handle, “Thanks for saving me,” Keith finished.

“You’re….welcome.” Adam looked around, finally grasping that he was in the main healing chamber. From where he was on the bridge, it was on the complete other side of the castle, “How did I get here?”

“Shiro carried you. All by himself,” Lance said, clasping a hand on Shiro’s shoulder.

“It was almost sweet looking back on it now. Carrying you as tears fell down his face,” Pidge said, her hands clasped together, resting them against her chest as if she was talking about the romance of the century.

“It was a dramatic scene that would fit any movie!” Lance proclaimed, striking a pose behind Pidge.

Shiro scoffed, seeming to be both equally annoyed and embarrassed by their remarks, “Come on guys. I wasn’t crying. I was just sweating. It’s hard to carry somebody that far without getting worn out a little.”

“It would have helped if you hadn’t carried him bridal style,” Pidge teased.

“I…. I didn’t…” Shiro stuttered, his face turning red, unsure of what to say.

Wait. The drops of water he had felt on his face before, was that Shiro? Were those his tears? It seemed like such a farfetched idea, but he never thought Shiro would literally cry over him. After everything that happened, he thought they weren’t that close anymore.

Adam looked up at Shiro, “Takashi. You….saved me?”

Shiro appeared to be briefly dumbfounded by the question, as if it didn’t make sense to him. After a moment he just smiled down at him and said, “Of course I did. Don’t you know how important you are to me?”

Adam felt a pull in his chest, realizing that maybe he wasn’t as insignificant as he had believed he was. Water started to well up in his eyes as he leaned forward into Shiro’s chest, lightly punching at his side, “You…son of a bitch,” he cried, as Shiro wrapped his arms around him.

Shiro laughed and addressed the others around him, “That means ‘thank you’ by the way.”

Adam felt a hand grab his human shoulder, and he looked up to see Keith once again, “It’s good to have you back Adam.”

Adam let go of Shiro and looked at everyone around him as Shiro backed up. Everyone was here for him. To make sure he was okay. They all saved his life and repaired his body. And for the first time, he felt like he had somewhere he belonged. He may not have been a paladin, but this is where he was meant to be. Tears began to flow down his face as he addressed the room, looking down at his feet out of embarrassment, “Thank you… everyone.” 

“Wow, never thought I’d see Adam cry,” Pidge said.

“Don’t worry, he’ll deny it and go back to making fun of me within the week,” Shiro laughed.

“Quick, somebody get a camera!” Lance shouted. Adam smiled as the others all scrambled around him. They were crazy, and frustrating. But he felt more at home with them in the few days he had known them, than he ever had at the Garrison. The only person that mattered to him back then was Shiro, and now Shiro was here, along with a whole new group of people that were also worth caring about now. And despite everything that had happened, it looked like Shiro did still care about him. For the first time in a long time, Adam felt genuinely happy. But Shiro was right, he was definitely going to go back to making fun of him within the week.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my fic! I got a little dark at times, but I'm way to soft not to give it a happy ending. I figured at this point in the story is when the deep and emotional drama would come out in regards to Adam. With everything gong on, I imagine he would have become depressed at his current situation, which is why I wrote him as such for this particular one-shot. If I wrote more stories for this AU set in future episodes, Adam will have a much more eccentric and sarcastic personality. I hope you'll leave a comment and tell me what you think!


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